Its painful but i had to do it. I know its better for me and her. The thing is...whats the point of staying on when there's nothing left to salvage. Its very obvious tt she's on in to me. So why should i even like give chances or whatsoever. I'm always accused of not truly loving her but since the day we were tgt. I nvr lost any feelings. I know its going to be hard and it is already hard to let go, i miss her like hell rite now but i know tt i should stick to this cos theres no point doing all this for one who i know doesnt love me/ apreciate me anymore.I miss how she treated m last year, and she kept to her promise when she said she would treasure me more. but it wont happen now. it was all history. I shall scream and shout to the world when no one is listening. No one understands how unfair it is to me, no one.

I keep asking myself. Do you really love me or is this all an act. And when will the act be over.
I see nothing good happening. but i know smthing bad will happen.
If it is love, than why cant you even treat me like a normal friend. I tot we no longer tgt already why cant i be treated just like every single one of them. Right now, i cant msg you much everyday, I cant even add you on facebook, I cant kiss you, hug you or even hold your hand whe we go out. I see no progress and it doesnt seem to be working out, i dont feel loved at all.

Dont tell me tt you only wanted me to know how you felt cos its real easy to see tt. and I know its just another 1 of those excuses tt you came up with. cos everyone knows tt you were sad. the only things is tt you were happy with anyone else,even him. but when i asked you smthing, you didnt even bother to answer. like even you can asnwer tazi and wad cant even answer me. wtf man. so dont try to fake tt you only wanted me to know how you felt. and you even could answer him. in fact, i was quite fedup to a moment when i wanted to tell you to get some other bf tt could take this treatment.... aiya. Damn.

I'm facing a dilema. no1. iis seriously not my fault at all, how do you expect me to talk to you when you didnt even bother to say a word to me ytd.
no2, I should be the one being sad but i can understand tt you are sad cos Mr Raj scolded you but isnt it ur fault for not wearing your tie. No3, i still have to face my parents over my poor results + now many ppl keep on asking me to comfort you but i cant cos you wont even reply a single word to me.
IDK lah, I shall just see whether you come to sch tmr.....

If I'm not with them dan go with who. You didnt even want to talk to me. now you know how i feel lah, at least i nvr sit with any girl mah. and when i ask you whether you ok or not. you just give me a frown right?! Ou yang talk to you you straightaway smile. other ppl oso talk to you u smile. You're being damn unfair to me lor. + I nvr say i wanna leave you alone mah. Is you give me the bloody impression to get away from you. and you say tt I think mafia wars more important than you. but its you who felt tt your book was more important in the 1st place lor.

LOOK AT YOURSELF, PLEASE

At least i did try ok? And fuck lor. Hello? u were the 1 with the bloody fking attitude lor. and i'm damn fed up of it. You spoiled my day lor, i tdy go sch tot i can spend a happy day with you at least dan u bullshit me. you dont like me just TELL ME lah. dan i wont bloody care abt you anymore and you can do whatever you like with 'other ppl'. In fact you dont even treat me like how you treat your friends lor.I talk to you yo0u dont even want to fking answer a word. dan ouyang talk to you you sooooooooo fking happy. I cant even add you as a friend on facebook and you can blooody give binli things on mafia wars. I cant even msg you and you can msg binghua soooo much in the train tt time. FUCK LOR!!!!!!!! Dont like me just say can already mah. + you ytd say tdy come sch talk and in the end...... you give me some stupid attitude. dan you just send me a sry msg.HELLO? it doesnt mean a thing 1 lor, you not even sincere. and now you blaming me for not asking you how you felt and all. LIKE I NVR LIKE TT, I FKING ASK YOU SO MANY TIMES AND YOU NVR EVEN ANSWER ME A WORD. NOT A BLOODY SINGLE WORD AT ALL!!!!I gave up my pride leh, how often do you see me coming to you and asking you how you feel. and since tt friday, you havent made me happy yet. all you've been saying is sry. which you dont even mean it.

why is it so unfair. i just want tobe treated just like how others would be treated. cant you just talk happily to me. you say u still love me, but do u rely mean it?ytd all u showed me was u dont care at all. you even treat others more closer dan me.I cant even be ur friend on facebook. you're so scared to hold my hand infront of ppl dan why are u not scared to stick with me? and everyday, i only get a limited msgs from you, we're not even related anymore, why does ur mum still dont let you even talk to me? i feel so dejected lor.

do you rely LOVE me, it is real love or sympathy? pls reflect........
cos i still do.

It sucks.....the feeling sucks. this year i made countless of decisions tt i regretted. ah wtf. i damn lazy to elaborate. i'm just full of anger. I cant stop it anymore. itys getting harder to control my emotions and i feel tt the whole world is ganging up on me. wtf lah. its so hard to carry on living like this....its not tt i want to be like this okay?!

This is so unfair. I feel like i chasing after a train that has already left. I feel like i'm working for nothing. I feel so mistreated. You were not irritating. You were just.......not being fai. aiya, better not say anthing but i really tried alot. when u were down, i was there, i did not blame you for anything. eventhough i smtimes walked and left you behind. i still waited for you to come mah. I wanted to hold ur hand so badly, its like eternity since the last time i got to do tt. I feel so down, i dont want go sch tmr. I tried to control my emotions but it was too hard. its really unfair. you always have reasons...i am very diappointed. I waited so long for an opportunity to go out with you.....but it was all wasted. I nvr got to have a smile for long. I wish you would have understand wad i was going through. esp when u were unhappy at the cityhall mrt station. I was down already yet i had to comfort you. dan u just take out ur hp and started playing, u didnt even give adamn abt me. and its really very unfair to assume tt ur mum might be anywhere or cos there's alot ppl. ah forget it, u dont even like me anymore. i shouldnt be trying anymore........

Its unforgivable, you're unforgivable. Really hopeless between us right now, i dont even know why i forgive you, i dont even know why i still bother to talk to you. The person i trust most betray me, the person i tot understands me best doesnt. and now, ah forget it..............fucking unfair. i dont know how to carry on life with so much pain and hatred now.

this is something i got to post abt...i dreamt abt her! i dreamt that we were holding hands after school while i was walking her hm...i felt so happy. dan all a sudden my alarm clock ringringring dan i wake up and felt so sad again. cos i know it will nvr happen for me, it will only happen for other ppl.
but nvm, i went to play mafia wars and met tyt...he's just sooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny lahs.

SS exam

Tdy is an okok day for me.... morning sucks.......afternoon was better. Went to binghua house cos it was raining dan muz wait for rain stop dan can play basketball. Binghua super competitive lor,lor,lor. he wanted to beat me in hourly income.lol. super competitive lor, he already lvl so much higher dan me.........in fact, i feel tt my income and lvl kinda low lor. more chionging for mafia wars................yay.
and they already talking abt going to bugis with ghafran and us. yay, more ppl go the more merrier. i feel so happy after playing basketball with them....they are so nice to hang out with.esp my douhua!LOL! I can rmb last year me and randolph tot tt they very bully 1, dan turn out they actually quite nice. so happy.

and i miss my dearest, dont know where she go liao, she also nvr reply my msg.=(

HI!!! CLEMENT is back. Playing mafia wars everyday. woot. join my mafia!!!!
+ now still got exams muz limit my playing. my maths sux my history sux everything sucks. aiya, confirm flunk 1. just waiting for the june holis to come....

SA1 EL paper

Yip! I like tdy's english ppr 1 and 2. I stared blanked at the rusty bars tt separate me from my freedom.lol. my favourite starting sentence. dan ppr 2 like s.easy. ppl say passage b very hard but i find it easier dan passage a . + the summary kinda easy, should be scoring 30+ this time=)

its just tt. Its very hardto let go of the past. And when i think of it.........fuck. i hate it. I hate you, damn bullshit, wtf lah. sry just letting ou my anger. I have 4 different things why i felt sad just now.
1.you keep on hitting me when i sleep
2. you tell me go away dan you still foil my plans against binli
3. I rmbed the scene again
4. I nvr bring my chem file and prac wkbk.
these r the 4 stupid reasons why i'm angry.
I actually liked how you treated me tdy. except during english. I just feel so.......cannot walk you hm. is it really so hard to walk you hm?

Tdy, I decided tt I would try to smile even with the scene still in my mind. Most ppl wont know, but everytime I charge my chakra, I'm actualy no doing so, I'm actually trying to calm myself down when i think of it. I tried my best to treat her nicely, she just didnt care to put in any effort. I wish she would say the same thing she said to me last year.

I've been thinking about what happened over the month of april. Personally, I think its my worst month I gone through. And I asked myself....Wad have I done to deserve this? Its not like I didnt try, its not like I didnt bother. In fact, I tried when there was every oppoturnity, but 80% of the times, I was turned down. I feel so miserable.
I really dont know how it has ended in this situation. I feel so lost right now, like there's no one who cares about how I feel, no one who I can really depend all my trust on them. I'm all alone facing the landslide and she's not there for me.
2008...........................how i wish i could turn back the clock. I cried over and over again abt it.

Ask yourself? Do you even deserve my trust. 1st of all, you did all this to me. dan you still dare to msg me ly when you actually dont anymore. and You lied to me again ytd. how can u even expect me to trust you. And I just know you keeping smthing form me. I was very hurt ytd. I waited for an hour only to know tt you were lying all along.
and tdy...I was even more hurt. I finally found out tt all ur msgs of ly werent real at all. You actually dont love me anymore. you didnt even want to hug me anymore.and I know tt very soon, you'll lose everything u had for me and like some1 else. and my heart hurts. I wish you would be mine forever but tt will nvr happen. Everything is already falling apart. I'm deeply hurt again.=''''(

I miss the hugs.
I miss the kiss.
I miss wendy2008.
Where did she go?